Not Yambassadors to the World

We weren’t really feeling the vibe in “God’s Country” (aka inland Queensland) what with all the anti-foreigner bumper stickers and all, so we decided to head back to the relatively progressive state of New South Wales. We read about this place called Yamba that our guidebook described as a “family holiday resort”. Sounded wholesome enough, and when we got there we learned that the town was actually voted the number one town in Australia in 2009. Throw in a few world class surf breaks and how could we go wrong?

Things looked nice enough at first, but the seedy underbelly of Yamba reared its ugly head during our first night in the campground. We had lost a tent stake in the middle of the night due to some heavy winds so I got up at about 4 am to batten down the hatches just as some riff raff were walking by on a nearby pedestrian path. It was a Monday night so I thought it was a bit weird for some youngsters to be out prowling around so late. They greeted me and asked if I had a cigarette. I said I don’t smoke and when they heard me talk they said in a tone that made clear their feelings towards outsiders: “ohh, yer not from around here are ya?”. Are you serious? I mean c’mon, is there anything more hickish you could say to someone? Of course I’m not from around there! That’s why I have an accent and I’m camping in the tourist park, dumbass!! After the disappointing response about the cigarette they got belligerent and gave me a tongue lashing that consisted of the F word and some pretty strong anti-American sentiment. Real classy. I was thankful for a change that Canada seems to get forgotten about all the time, although I did take offence on behalf of our American readers – alas, I didn’t retort seeing as it was 4 am and I was in my underwear.

The next day it became more apparent that something was amiss in this town. There were three unemployment offices downtown (it’s a town of 6000 people…I read somewhere later that the unemployment rate is 18%) and we saw more cop cars patrolling the streets than we’ve seen throughout the whole rest of the country! On two occasions I saw people driving around with an open beer in hand. I would expect to see that kind of thing in northern Ontario but not in Australia’s number one town circa 2009! What’s more, the doctor’s office had a notice pinned to the window that said ‘no narcotics of addiction kept on premises’. Family holiday resort my ass. Come to think of it, I did notice that a lot of the trailers in the campground had Queensland plates.

-G

Ha ha! Would you bring your family here?

Sorry, not me

                                                                           Not me either

Queensland: God's Country

Bumper sticker on the car of the owner of the campground we stayed in.  Typical bogan view on immigration, I guess.

Sadly, we have reached as far north in Australia as we’re going to get on this trip.  There are many amazing places further up the coast, but we can’t squeeze everything in. We just bought our flight to Vietnam, so we only have a few weeks remaining in this great country.

The place was Glass House Mountains, and it was only our second trip into the hinterland, or non-coast, of Australia.  We went to do a bit of hiking and mountain viewing, although the Glass House Mountains are more like mole-hills, since the tallest one tops out at 555 meters.  But they were advertised as being oddly-shaped, so we went to see what it was all about.

The Glass House Mountains are in the state of Queensland.  Now, we were warned about Queensland by an unnamed Australian friend, so we went in with a bit of hesitation.  We were told: “Queensland is full of bogans”.  I know that most of our audience probably have never heard that term before, so here is a link to a definition.  Once you read this, you’ll understand why we had reservations about visiting the area.  Another claim to fame of this area is the Australia Zoo, which was Steve Irwin’s zoo.  The rest of the world may have moved on after his death, but not here.  About every 500 meters on ‘Steve Irwin Way’ (the main highway) there is a giant billboard with a larger-than-life picture of Steve practically making out with a crocodile or other reptile, with the words ‘Crikey!!! Come visit the Australia Zoo!!!!’ underneath.  It’s not very classy, but then again it is bogan country.

In case you were wondering, we were accepted at the campground with open arms despite the fact that we were born neither black nor white Australian.  I guess they really needed the money...

-E

On the top of the world!!! (Actually, only 300m or so above sea level)

 

The sign at the trailhead said 'WARNING - EXPERIENCED ROCK CLIMBERS ONLY'.  We figured we fit into that category because we went rock climbing once.

I started to have doubts at this point in the trail....

Gold Rush

Byron Bay was nice, but in the end the “alternative” lifestyle (read: washed-up-65-year-old-hippie culture) just wasn’t for us….too many acupuncturists and Reiki masters soliciting their services around town. So we high-tailed it for the Australian promised land of sun, sand and surf: the Gold Coast. This is the EPICENTRE of surfing in Oz, ground zero for all things shred-related. That means good waves, dude, but it also means big crowds, bro. In spite of the throngs of backpackers and domestic vacationers along the majority of this coastline – not to mention the hundreds of surfers vying for every wave, Elise and I have managed to carve out a comfortable little rut for ourselves in the small town of Coolangatta. A typical day starts with a quick brekkie and a surf at 6 am followed by an early brunch at around 9 am. Soon thereafter the focus turns to lunch and which leftovers from the night before are suitable to be barbecued (the answer is invariably ‘all of them’). Then we sit around and read and sweat our asses off and sip coffee/tea until the evening comes and it’s time for another surf. The night usually wraps up with an epic dinner on the BBQ (often involving kangaroo meat) followed by a nightcap and lights out at the ripe old hour of 10 pm. It’s a tough life.

-G

Famous surf break at Duranbah ("D-bah")

A rare uncrowded period for me (only because there are no waves!) with the town of Surfers' Paradise in the background. For the record, the town is not paradisaical at all and it has little to do with surfing.

Home sweet home. Kirra Tourist Park.

Happy Valentine's Day!

We had some advice for a great little place to celebrate Valentine’s Day from our good friend Sox.  All-you-can-eat lunch buffet at Pizza Hut for $12!!!!! Unlimited pizza, pasta, salad AND dessert!!!! Bring on the romance.  Nothing can bring two people closer than sharing 10 pieces of pizza, 4 plates of pasta, 3 trips to the salad bar, 2 jello cubes, 1 piece of chocolate cake and 2 bowls of ice cream.  Then we staggered home and napped all afternoon.  Love was in the air.  Sox actually recommended this place for the good value and great ocean views, but I guess he never brought a lady there so he never realized how romantic it was.

But let’s back up a bit.  What I really want to talk about is Byron Bay.  Ever heard of it?  If you know Australia at all, I’m sure you have.  It is one of THE places to be on the east coast.  So, naturally, I wanted to have nothing to do with it.  But, we ended up in this area for a few days, and to my surprise, I found that I loved it.  It was a bit of a shock because it was really the first time in Australia that we’ve encountered masses of backpackers, and there were definitely masses.  And lots of hippie culture and over-priced sushi.  Thanks, but we prefer to stick to our 85-cent ramen noodle packages.  This is a lie – I totally got sucked into the sushi train gimmick.  Snatching up plates of sushi as they whiz by on a train track as you sit at the restaurant counter sounds like great fun, which it is, but after a while the same sushi starts circling back around to you and it gets boring.  Maybe this is a metaphor for life?

I digress again.  Back to the Bay.  The town is really laid-back and has a great vibe, but unfortunately is also very touristy.  The bay itself is pretty, and is full of people surfing, kayaking, swimming and doing all sorts of water stuff.  I can see now why it is so famous, and I definitely could have spent more time here.  But the Gold Coast is calling…

-E

Gully and me and heaps of pizza

A dude fishing at sunrise....Australians are nuts for fishing....and yes, we get up at sunrise now

Gully going for an early morning surf session

Sunset at Watego beach

Byron Bay!

The Pass at Byron Bay

Australia's most easterly point

Right on ’cue

We had to travel halfway around the world before we could find CC in a can. It’s a little taste of home for $5.20. Actually, it was pretty watered down and not really worth it. To tell you the truth, we only bought that so we could take a picture of it for the blog, so if you’re reading this then you owe us money.

We've been getting rained out at a lot of our campsites, so we've been resorting to hanging out for the afternoon at the community RSL (Returned and Services League), which is essentially the Australian equivalent to the Royal Canadian Legion. It’s nothing like what you’d expect from the neighbourhood chapter of the Legion back home. It’s got a fancy café, a hoity-toity bar, slot machines, off-track horse race betting, gourmet food (for cheap cheap cheap), and, most important, the fastest wifi anywhere. Acutally, scratch that. What’s really most important is the red wine by the glass for $2.40…God bless government subsidies. We plan to eventually hit up every RSL from Melbourne to Brisbane. I just have to make sure Gamblor, aka Elise, doesn’t blow our travel budget on the 10 cent slots.

Anyone who’s been to Oz knows about the barbecue culture here. There are public barbecues on pretty much every corner in every town in Australia. In fact, I’d say that public barbecues are to Australia what Tim Hortons are to Canada. This fits well with our love of delicious food because nothing enhances the deliciousness of food like when you barbecue it. We actually barbecued our last four meals. Not kidding. I did French toast on the ’cue this morning. 


-G

Look for me on the Food Network

Tempting...

VIP

The Open and Empty Road

We’ve made it part of the way up the coast of the state of New South Wales and all I can say is…where are all the people???  The forests are beautiful, the beaches are sublime, the towns are quaint, and the weather has finally turned hot and sunny.  And yet, sometimes we feel like we are the only ones on vacation.  We knew that this part of the state is much less developed than the touristy, in-your-face northern half, but we did not expect the kind of seclusion we have experienced so far.  People are really missing out!  Summer holidays for the kids have ended, and school officially started again this week.  This must suck – just when the hottest month of the year gets started, you have to head back to class.  It also means that there will probably be even less people around.

We have mostly been bush camping (as they call it here) in the national parks.  Think cold showers and heading to bed at 10 pm.  But it definitely is cool to hear the waves crashing on the beach just a few hundred meters from your tent.  And we’ve spent a few romantic nights sitting on the beach, drinking wine from the bottle and watching the stars while the mozzies (mosquitos to those not in-the-know) bite our bums.  And the kangaroos like the beach at night too, and sometimes they frolic around on the sand, to our great amusement.  But they also never seem to sleep, and it is disconcerting to be walking around in the dark and then suddenly flash your flashlight on a kangaroo, who is calmly munching on grass and staring at you in the pitch black.

The beauty of Australia...ocean and lake in the same picture

This trail was a little scary....

An empty little cove

Pebbly Beach - where the kangaroos frolic (sorry, no kangaroos in this shot)

Gully kayak self-pic

Miles of empty beach

And even more miles of empty beach